Domestic Violence: why?

I was happily surfing on the internet, like i usually do, when something came into my attention: according to the United Nation’s report from June 2020, the domestic in 2020 is increased by 40% in compairs with the last year (this is the article)…and often the victims are women. Why something like that happens?

I literally speechless when i have to read something horrible like a man who put his hands on a woman. It’s so inhuman. What comes through a man’s mind when he decided to hit her or when he wants to make her feel bad? control? punishment? stupidity? I don’t know.

In the beginning i thought that something so horrible happens both because men often are animals and we can’t control our emotions and instinct and because we don’t like when women make us look like idiots. I thought to know, then i started to think a little bit different, asking myself the following question: how could all this bad and toxic feeling come from? i was having lots of problem to figure that out, but as soon as is started to work, everthing was perfectly clear. With all the stress, expectations, opinions, disappointment, frustration and anger, a guy could start not to talk anomore, because the brain can work well any longer. We always put the blame on the men alone, but the world we live in has got its own very big responsabilities.

I’m not saying now that if a man hurts bad or even kill a woman must be forgiven and treated like a poor child. Absolutely not. Violence of every form should not be present in a society like ours. I’m just saying that sometimes we are wrong when we say that men hit or kill women because its our favorite hobby, because it’s not. This world is putting on a everyone’s shoulder lot of pressure and if you are a man the pressure is even more, because we have to take care of the family, we have to earn money and we have to face all the responsability alone, because women are “weak” and a man has to protect them. It’s true. If in the family the woman earn money and the man stays home, that guy will be called “loser”, “parassyte” or even “unworthy”. In this kind of enviroment, a man is force to work hard to take care of his family, despite everything.

It comes, however, the moment when the pressure is too much and a man has too much to take out from your body. Some of men cry, others start bad habits like drinking or taking drugs and other, unfortunately used to calm down use the pure physical energy. And too often that man are married and women and kids are the first people they have around. I am sure that if those men were in a club, they would start a bar fight with the first person next to them. It’s about statistics: a man spends more time at home with a womanthan any other place. If men spent more time in clubs and bar, we would hear much more often about huge fights, several injuries and maybe deaths. The fatality is that women are those who spend more time very close a man.

Violence is bad. No matter what. Can a man act differently? Yes, of course! Can he do that now? I don’t think so. Violence is bigger than the act itself. Talking and judgings without even trying to thing about the reason is stupid, because it means that we don’t want to solve the problem. In this world we are always able to condemn the executioner and never able to ask ourselves the reasons. You can only win against violence if you solve all of the problem involved. And around this situation, the problems are a lot, starting with the society itself and how we think life. Only then we can solve the domestic violence!

Mauro.

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