Devil Food: The Burger!

I love Burger. You have no idea how many lunches and breakfasts were saved because of two slice of breab with something inside. They are deliciuos, pretty cheap and really amazing. What they don’t tell you is that they try to kill you!

I am sure that around the world, who cooks the burger have decided to try to kill us, in the best amazing possible way, but they still try to kill us. Between the size, the ingredients and the sauses livers aroud the world are trying desperetely to survive one more day.

Burgers are evil, because they taste delicious, but they are a attempt to destroy every single organ in our body. Someone should warn us, when we come into a fast food, that what we are about to eat might kill us softly. Don’t you believe me?

Let start from the meat. Two big, fat, juicy and absolutely delicious piece of meat. Those two, sometimes three, devil things look innocents (because they are only grilled, they say) but they are brutal, with all the fat inside. Probably they are fatter than an entire stick of butter. Every time you bite those two wonderful masterpiece of malignity, you swallow a sweet and tasty death weapon. I am sure that who invented the burger was a huge sadistic, because he or she knew that the next generation would have never been able to stop eating burgers. It’s like being addicted!

Then the bread. Two little slice of bread…but they are not only two side of normal bread! And they are not even little! They are probably fetter than the meat itlself and bigger than my face! The combo meat-bread is so big that you are not even able to eat the whole thing properly without getting your fsce and clothes dirty! It’s impossible, unless you don’t want to dislocate the jaw. The worst part is not the size however, is the fact that often the slices are toasted with the meat’s sause inside the pan. The people in the kitchen are mean, because they really want to be sure to use all the weapon they have to try to make us suffer…and they do, make us suffer, but in a very soft, delicious and tasty way! There’s a place in hell for you, people in the kitchens!

But it’s not enough. Sauces and bacon are the cherry on top. This is not the bacon the problem (with all you have in a burger, a single slice of bacon it’s the last thing you have to be worried about), but the sauces. So much of it, so much deicious and so fat! Sauces are amazing, but fatter then a sumo fighter! No matter which one you will choose, your digestive system will be in trouble, big trouble…and you are put it in danger!! Yes, luckly for us, fast food try to “help” us using salad…as if one small slice of salad will save us from becoming living, rolling, human, fat balls. It’s just a very devious ways for the cooks to make us fell less bad with ourselves! Bastard!

You can try to escape, but you can’t! It’s like the siren’s song: once you smell the spectaculat flavour of the grilled meat, of the BBQ sauce inside and of the bacon just cooked, you can do nothing else that give up and enjoy that masperpiece. Tomorrow will suffer, but today we are happy!

W the Burger!

Mauro.

8 thoughts on “Devil Food: The Burger!”

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