As a man i was born with the luck to be in control of the world. It’s probably painful to read it, but this is still a man’s world. More than that i don’t have to suffer monthly pain and discomfort a woman has to live until she gets old. However i’m asking myself: what if one day i woke up and i became a woman?
It would be a nightmare, let me tell you. Let’s start from the physical changes. First, i will have a bigger breast and “the door lock” instead of the “door key”, my big muscle will be gone, my hand, legs and booty will look differently. Do you have any idea how horrible is it? I have no idea how to manage two big boobs. I use to stare at them or, in the best case scenario, play with them, it’s not my job to bring them around the city! Those two round things are heavy, they move wherever they want, they hurt during the period and they are nightmare in summer, both because they will let sweat and because i can’t physically hide them. I mean, i could technically hide them, wearing a coat in June or july…but i don’t think is a wise and, more important, healthy choice!
Do we want to talk about the door lock? Oh, boy! As man, i use to wake up with my penis showing his “happiness” and it’s all good. More than that, i can pee in different positions and i don’t have something horrible comes out from it every month. How could i live without it? It’s a reassuring feeling to have something swinging between my legs. If i were a woman, no more pippy, no more “hammer of love”, no more “Anaconda”. The only think i will have is a door to manage. And we all know how hard is to manage a dood. First you have to rememeber to keep it close, because people, especially men, have the impuls to get into it pretty easily and they will try to get into that door in every possible way; then, for some funny reason, every key is good to open it and, if something goes wrong, someone might get out from that same door nine months later. More than that, of course, every month, inside that door people prepare the room for a visitor or maybe more …and they are not gently at all while they do it!
Oh, if you think that it’s already bad, the world around you, will make even twice harder. No matter how you will be dressed and which season is, other men around you will look at you…and not in a pretty way: they will use their x-ray superpower to figure it out what beneath the clothes…even if you are dressed as a huge onion (with multiple layers of clothes). And the problem is that “the hotter, the worse”, because the hotter it gets, the shorter the skirt and the shorter the shirt. Which means that legs, arms, feet (Yes, even feet…), and decollete are there to be seen and turn men on. Suddendly you will be surrounded of perverts who apparently have never seen a woman’s body before.
And i haven’t talked about diesquality, patriarchy and your role in a family and in the society yet. I’m not gonna do that, it’s just too much. I am sure you are already too busy to deal with the bra and how to close it, with the toilet and how pee, with the make-up, how to live during your period and with all the hungry looks in the men’s faces.
I am glad to be a man.