Animal: a Cat’s LIFE!

Have you ever thought how an animal’s life might be? Well, since i have absoluely nothing to do, i am asking myself: how amazing is being a cat? Yes, i could think of some more important, but i can control the monkey in my head!

Cat’s life is awesome! Probably the best life a living being can actually dream of! Little disclaimer: i am goint to talk about the domestic cat, not the wild one, of course!

I am pretty sure that cats were all vampires in a prevoius life, because they are super active during the night, making you think that either a theft is in your home or that you are living a “paranormal activity” kinda moment, and throughout the day they spend all their time sleeping, getting boring, walking slowly around the house without any destination and liking all its body, literally all its body…even part i can’t tell you right here!

A cat is allowed to walk around, stop its walk, looking at you with that superiority feeling in its face for few seconds and keep walking again with scorn in his mind, thinking that you, stupid human being, are stupid and useless. If i did the same, i will slapped in the face! And no matter what a cat does, he will still be loved: it can actually burn the house down, the human will still love his or her cat, saying that it was not its fault. I mean, i want that life with zero responsability and full of love, even if i am the worst living being in the entire history! How amazing is that!

And i, as a cat, don’t even have to think about food. As a human being, i have to make a list of things to buy, go to the market, buy them (and work to have the money to buy some the food i need), come back home and cook. Does a cat do those things? Absolutely not! It just knows that food will magically appear in its bowl, without even ask, even if cats are often evil. The only thing a cat has to do is just watch the useless human being and the food will be there, with the excuses of the human for the delay! It’s incredible…if i only asked my mom to say sorry for the delay of the dinner, she would kick me in the butt and throw me out of the door, without even give me some food!

Well, actually there are a couple of little problem you have to face if you are a cat: castration and being touched. Lot fo human are used to castrate their cats, because they don’t want lot adorable kittens aorund the house and, more than that, those noisy beings, that forced you not to have kittens, will touch you all the time, thinking you are a living teddy bear. Don’t worry, be patient and let the human do whatever they want! In the middle of the night, walk around doing very creepy noises and piss wherever you want…so, the stupid human will not sleep at all and he or she will have to clean all the mess you have done purposely during the night.

So, just to summarise: a cat can’t do whatever it want, will have always something to eat, it’s loved, no responsabilities, and it will have its reveange! I mean, can you ask something more?

Mauro.

2 thoughts on “Animal: a Cat’s LIFE!”

  1. hahaha great article but my cat is such a picky eater if you give him something he doesn’t want he sill give you death stares until you give him something else!

    Liked by 2 people

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